March: His Tender Mercies Ever Present

The morning we were leaving for our impromptu trip to Virginia, we received an automated appointment notification from the real estate scheduling service. They gave us 1 hour notice that the appraiser wanted to come. So, that's when we cranked things into high gear, dumping the crumbs and whatnot to make the house nasty for his/her arrival. But, Paul didn't confirm the appointment and so no one came. We waited until after the appointment time before leaving.

As we headed out of town, we fully anticipated that the appraisal would eventually take place while we were away. It was with a great deal of anxiety that we headed for Virginia. There was so much uncertainty. Where were we going to live? Where was Paul going to work? Two really important, really big unknowns. I knew I really did not want to live in Abingdon, Virginia, but I had come to accept it, and I was willing to submit myself to it if that was what was required of me. Paul had put out a couple feelers in Greenville, but no doors seemed to be opening and we knew we had a sure bet in Virginia with a hefty payday up front. 

Right about the time we were driving through Asheville, my phone rang. Our real estate agent's number showed on my phone. I answered. She said she had some very good news, it could all be over if we agreed to a couple things. The buyer had found another house and was ready to put an offer on it, but he wanted a check from us IMMEDIATELY or he wasn't going to go away. He wanted $1500, to pay for incurred expenses and his inconvenience. We GLADLY and excitedly scrambled to find someone who could quickly get a certified check from the bank and deliver it to the agent. Our favorite, most reliable friend in the whole wide world, Emily, was our hero of the day. It was done! Our home was saved! Once that check was delivered, a contract cancellation was electronically signed by both parties. It had never felt so good to have our house. At the exact same time as I was making arrangements with Emily, Paul received a phone call from a former colleague. There was a very strong, almost certain job opportunity available for him right in Greenville. 

The timing of those events was not lost on me. We had left home to try to figure out where we were supposed to go from the position we were in, and miracles happened, solving all of our problems, at the same time. 

We arrived at our first fun stop and we were on an incredible emotional high. We stopped at Bristol Caverns and were totally impressed with the beauty and expanse of this off the beaten path attraction. We arrived at the end of their operating hours for the day and were the only ones there, save one family on the tour ahead of us. We received a personal tour of the cavern. We all thoroughly enjoyed it. 

After a disappointing dinner, we went to the grocery store and bought a couple pints of ice cream to eat in our hotel room. Still enjoying the emotional high, we were in total party mode. The kids, of course, really didn't know what was going on behind the scenes. They were just excited to be staying overnight in a hotel and the prospects of the all-you-can-eat continental breakfast the next morning. 

After a hearty breakfast, we set out to conquer the Virginia Creeper Trail, of former Mimi's Major Crash glory. The ride is quite long from Whitetop to Damascus. 17 miles, I believe. There's lots of time for quiet reflection and I found myself pondering over the same topic as the last time we had been on the trail. On that ride, Mimi had crashed, resulting in lots of bleeding, fear, and being stuck in thunderstorms. A surgeon, quite miraculously, arrived to our rescue. On this occasion, once again we had been rescued from a devastating and scary episode. In full disclosure for posterity, 2015 into 2016 had not been good for our little family. Heck, even longer than that really. It wasn't a good time for us on any account- not spiritually, not emotionally, not maritally. Life just isn't always easy. It isn't always sunshine and lollipops. It isn't always what it appears to be from the outside. We had some struggles. And lately, we had some major setbacks. Life felt completely out of control and chaotic. And very, very scary. But He came to our rescue. I know He did. It wasn't just coincidence. It wasn't just dumb luck. He came. He saved us. As I rode on that trail after my mom's crash rescue and again after being saved from homelessness, joblessness, and marital destruction, I pondered about why Heavenly Father sends miracles AFTER the trial instead of just preventing the trial from happening. Now, I have no doubt that miracles also happen that prevent horrible things from happening in the first place, but in these instances when His hand was so obvious in the cleanup of the trial, why couldn't he have just prevented us from experiencing the pain in the first place? I don't have a lot of things figured out. I don't think I recognize lessons very quickly or easily, but the biggest lesson I was reminded of at this time is that God allows us to experience things so that we can see His tender love for us, so that we can feel Him sustaining us THROUGH our trials. If we never experienced hardships, if He always saved us before the terrible things happened, we would never truly see Him or appreciate how he works to care for us. During this period of time when so many disastrous events happened with our move, we were trying our best to seek direction from the Spirit, trying to live faithfully, trying to do what He wanted us to do. We thought that's what we were doing. I won't pretend to understand the purpose in all things. But I do recognize that there were lessons to learn here. And that miracles occurred. And that God is so good and loves me so much. He saved us. Plain and simple. He preserved our family.
We enjoyed our bike ride. It was quite chilly when we set out in the morning, but the sun felt so good. The mountains were so peaceful. The kids were so delightful. We stopped along the trail several times to enjoy the beauty and to search for river rocks. After our ride, we set out on one last adventure for the day. We headed to Grayson Highlands State Park because we heard about wild ponies. From Damascus, it was a decent little drive to get there. It was getting close to dusk when we finally arrived at the trail head that would hopefully lead us to the ponies, but we had spoken to a gentleman who assured us that you couldn't miss the ponies. After a little bit of a hike, with boys who were, by this point, growing quite weary, we finally found ponies. Nathanael was afraid of them, after seeing a sign at the trail head warning not to stand behind them because they might bite or kick. Claire, however, was quite thrilled to see them, particularly after one pooped! She got a serious case of the giggles over that.

After a very long and tiring day, we set off for home. We drove late into the night to get back to our sweet little house. It felt better than ever to walk through that door, despite the fact that it was a total mess. Though it was super late and I was exhausted, I couldn't help but immediately set about tidying it back to normal. 

May we never take for granted the simple blessings and the daily miracles. 

March: The Wrath of Hell Engulfs Us

Upon his arrival in Utah, Paul hit the ground running. We were in a time crunch for finding a home and Paul only had 2 days before starting his new job. We had been looking at properties online on and off over the last year, therefore we knew finding a home would be challenging. During his two days before starting work, Paul drove from one corner of our search area to the other and concluded that our search for a reasonable home would be more daunting than we even realized. One factor or another, whether price, location, or curb appeal, ruled out every single available property, of which there were really very few. We were selling our paid off home and looking at having to spend over twice as much on something we would have to just settle on. Paul started to feel very discouraged and hopeless about not being able to find a home to bring his family to.
Monday. March 21st arrived. It was Paul's first day at his new job. The week would be spent in orientation and training. On day one his eyes were opened to how woefully understaffed and unprepared for the new project this company was. There were 6 engineers to work on a sizable chunk of aircraft structure. Only Paul and 1 other had received security clearance, thereby allowing them to work on the project. Only Paul and 1 other had ever worked on airplanes; the others, only rockets. It was a salaried position, but the project and deadlines would dictate the need for longer hours. Paul texted me during that first day of orientation and his hopes of our move to Utah bringing improvement to our lives were already fading. This job was going to run his life.
Day 2. The realities of working on a top secret project began to come clear- working in a building with no windows, depositing his cell phone in a box before walking into the building each day, no outside internet connection, NO FREEDOM. Throughout the 10+ years of his career, he has always been afforded the luxeries of freedom and flexibility, to which he has grown quite accustomed. Working under these conditions felt like consigning himself to prison for 8+ hours a day.
By this point, Paul was terribly homesick for the comforts of home, his family, and familiarity. The fear of not being able to find a home we would be happy about had taken a toll, but the nightmare of the job situation sealed the deal. Paul wanted to pull the plug and come home before we had invested any more financial resources into the move, before we had pulled the kids out of their schools and moved them to Utah only to hightail it out of there later. He had concluded that Utah was not going to be the utopia we had envisioned that it was going to be for our family. He told me through a text message to slap him if he ever proposed a plan that would involve uprooting our family again.
I contacted our real estate agent and informed her that, although we were under contract to sell our home, we couldn't go through with it. As expected, she was not pleased with this announcement. She relayed to me all the things that could happen as a result of trying to cancel the contract. She hid behind other individuals and entities while threatening that we could be sued and held to fees/commissions. She told me that we were legally bound to sell our home "even if one of you were to die the day before closing." She told me "I don't care about the commission, but the broker may still require you to pay commissions because commissions have been earned." And that was before she even told the buyer's agent. Then came the threat of the buyer wanting $10k or he would pursue legal action. We decided our best course of action was to proceed to closing, rather than risk sinking thousands into legal fees.
Paul was still in Utah during the back and forth over our house. It felt like our life was spinning out of control and we had absolutely no control over it. On something like day 3, immediately after Paul got off the phone with the real estate agent when he was informed about the $10k request, he got a phone call from the company hauling his brand new 2016 Honda Pilot to Utah. They had bashed in the roof during transit. **That is a whole separate nightmare that I will not devote any more time to on this post. Suffice it to say that it was one more detail that made the whole madness seem that much more unreal. Trying to navigate a resolution to that particular event has proven to be a complete fiasco and it has still not reached an end to date (mid-May).**
Having made the final decision to get out while he could and come back home, he was still looking at having to wait in Utah for his car to arrive and then drive it home. Having received the call that it was damaged, and that the vehicle had only made it to Georgia at that time, he demanded that they send it back to South Carolina. Mine and the kids' tickets to Utah for spring break were cancelled and Paul bought himself a ticket home as soon as possible. He quit his job Thursday morning and, though his flight wasn't until late afternoon Friday, he headed to the airport bright and early, eager to get the heck out of there. He arrived back on SC soil just as Friday night was turning into Saturday morning. And he arrived jobless, carless, and homeless.
The kids, of course, were excited to wake up to Dad being home again. Only Sam was disappointed to not be moving to Utah after all. We faced some uncertain days ahead, but life had to go on and the kids were officially on spring break. We had generously been invited to Mark and Crystal's house for an Easter egg hunt. The kids had a blast and had their first experience with dying eggs.

The next couple of days felt like an eternity, as we mulled over scenarios for where to move, where to work, and how to save our home. We had suggested to our real estate agent that we had found a loophole in the contract. The buyer had failed to provide us with proof of financing within a specified window. She spoke with the lawyer handling the closing on our home who agreed that it was reason enough to initiate a cancellation of the contract. We were elated and allowed ourselves a deep breath. Then, of course, we received notification that, magically, the buyer HAD provided that information (which was never provided to us), and the brokerage declared them to be in compliance with the contract. 

Unwilling to give up without a fight, we decided to take matters into our own hands. We still had two more opportunities to cause the sell of our home to fall through. The inspection had been done and had come back clean. They asked for a couple nit-picky repairs, which we refused, and they didn't care. However, the appraisal and termite inspection had not been done yet. We decided to attempt to sway the appraiser by making our house unappealing. We were desperate. Claire couldn't believe her luck when I gave her a crayon and asked her to practise her new talent of drawing family portraits, right on the kitchen cabinets. I couldn't help but giggle as I dumped crumbs all over the floors, both in the dining areas as well as the carpet upstairs. Paul pulled trim off a window, removed random knobs from bathroom cabinets, and left stinky onions in the garbage disposal and trash can. I skewed several of the blinds randomly, left every dirty dish from the last several meals, plus any trash from food packages right there on the counters. The place was a mess and I couldn't stand it! Luckily we were leaving town. 

Facing the prospect of having no employment options in Greenville, even after only a couple days we were feeling antsy and were already thinking of ignoring our feelings that South Carolina is meant to be our permanent home. Paul knew that he could still go back and get the job in Virginia if he really wanted it. Though I hated the thought of living in that place when we visited, so much that it made me cry, the money was very appealing at the moment. We decided to go back up there, to give it a bit of a second chance, and to have some fun, since it was spring break and all. We packed up our bikes, some overnight bags, and left our nasty house, hoping that the appraiser would be appalled by our work. 

March, Part 2

Meanwhile, we were in such a rush preparing, we felt like we were neglecting the kids. Luckily they survived.

Spending time with friends and cousins became very bittersweet, knowing that in just a few months they would be torn apart and they were too young to realize what that would feel like.

On St. Patrick's Day, Robin had baby Stella. She came just in time for Paul to meet her. His car had already been picked up by the transport company and the next day he would get on an airplane to head for Utah, to begin his new job and find us a new home.

After we dropped Paul off at the airport, there was an immediate break from all the rushing, so Claire and I spent the morning doing a little leisurely shopping at Goodwill. With her tutu fetish in full bloom, she spotted a couple treasures she thought were just perfect for herself and Tessa. Isn't she the cutest???

I mean, seriously, have you ever seen a more precious and beautiful girl than this one? I can't help it, these pictures must be included, even though there's nothing grandiose to say about them.

After Paul left for Utah, we had a pretty smooth weekend. Our move still felt a long way off, but we had things approaching that would keep us busy. There were still preparations that needed to be made for the move. Easter was coming and I had to host Nathanael's class party. And then there would be spring break. We were scheduled to fly out to Utah on Easter Sunday to spend spring break looking for a house.

Luckily, I had the cutest little helper in the world to help me pull off Nathanael's party, because by then the wheels had already started falling off our big plans. Because meanwhile in Utah....

(To be continued...)

March, Part 1

I'm completely unsure how to even begin documenting March. It was a totally horrific month for us, yet full of miracles and joy. It was, indeed, a roller coaster in many regards. Let's take it in parts and see where it goes....

Round about January, it became clear that Paul's work-at-home gig was going to be coming to an end. The company he had been working for, General Dynamics located in Marion, VA, was planning to terminate his contract in April, requesting that he make the move to Virginia and become a direct employee. Mid-February Paul also received word that the contingent job offer in Utah that he received about a year earlier was finally becoming a reality. They were ready for him to make the move to Utah and begin work, soon. We had a decision to make. It seemed there were no viable options left in South Carolina, and we felt we had 2 "right" choices with Virginia and Utah. Though Virginia would keep us only a 3 hour drive from home, the potential of living every day of my life in a tiny, isolated town (we visited the ward- 13 kids in Primary....including the Rogers 3) left me in tears. Utah seemed so idyllic and appealing. We thought that by choosing Utah we would be receiving a major lifestyle enhancement. So, Paul accepted the job offer in Utah, he gave notice to General Dynamics, and we started making preparations to move.
Things went really quickly. We considered renting our house out, met with a property management agent who loved the house, but ultimately decided we are too attached to our home (and much too particular) to let it be destroyed by renters. Next we met with a real estate agent and signed a contract with her that very day. Paul disliked her from the start, I said he was being mean and insisted on giving her the benefit of the doubt. She fought with Paul about list price, said we were listing too high, that we would NEVER get what we were asking. In fact, Paul wanted to list even higher, but settled for $199,000. A few days later, our listing was live and I was frantic to keep the house spotless for showings. How people live like that for indefinite periods, I have NO idea.

We had 4 showings over the weekend and then nothing. Paul paid tithing electronically. The next day we got a call back from the very first person who had looked at our house, wanting a second showing. We were under contract, with a full-price offer after 4 days on the market. We felt it was an incredible blessing, another sign that we were making the "right" decision. We scheduled movers to come mid-April. We were to close on our house April 28th; the kids and I would have to live out of suitcases at my parents' house until school was over June 2. The countdown was on for Paul's departure for Utah. It went so fast. We were trying to make little repairs to the house before the inspection, we had a 3rd car that we very reluctantly needed to sell, I was trying to purge things I didn't want to take to Utah, and pack Paul's things.   

Nathanael is 7!

Birthday Interview:

What is your favorite food? Pizza
What do you wish you never had to eat again? Spinach
What is your favorite thing about school? Gym
What makes you the happiest? Mom
Where in the world would you like to go? To a Nerf gun factory
What is your favorite sport? Football
What is your favorite thing to do? Shoot the bb gun
What do you like most about our family? Everything we do.
What do you want to be when you grow up? A Nerf gun tester.
Who is your best friend? Joshua
What is your favorite color? Orange
What do you and Dad do together? Shoot the bb gun
What do you and Mom do together? Do puzzles
What are you good at? Shooting bb gun
What are you scared of? Zombies, mummies, and boogie man
What is your favorite animal? Cat


I recently happened upon a picture of Nathanael from when he was about 1. The caption said something about how his favorite thing was anything that resembled a stick. He hasn't changed much since then. He is such a wild, crazy, into-everything boy. He loves being outside, digging in the dirt, riding a bike, scooter, 4-wheeler or anything else that moves, hunting, pretending to hunt, looking at bugs, or anything else that is adventurous and dirty. He is unaware of making messes and breaks lots of things in the name of curiosity and exploration.
This year has been a bit of a challenge with Nathanael. He is so rambunctious, I truly believe he has a hard time containing and controlling his energy and his actions. This causes a bit more than a little frustration for his fastidious parents. From birth, always our caring, thoughtful, compassionate child, during this school year we have noticed a bit of a change in his personality. Has he been affected by constantly being fussed at? By the unkindness shown to him by his brother? By a particular bad influence at school? I don't know, but it makes me sad. Once so quick to befriend the child who would probably be chosen last by everyone else, Nathanael has, instead, seemed more concerned about being accepted by the bully boy who seems to toy with Nathanael's feelings. I'm hopeful that as the school year ends, we will see the return of our Nathanael.
One thing that I love about Nathanael is that he is so unique and he doesn't care about hiding it. He loves dressing head-to-toe in camouflage. He doesn't care who sees him still drink from a sippy cup. He's not embarrassed to still wrap up in his puppy blanket, go outside in his underwear, or pretend to be a kitty cat with his baby sister. Though, all too often, this attitude of not caring what others think about him is what gets him in trouble at home (disregard for what Mom and Dad think or request), I hope he always is bold enough to be himself in the face of those who may not think it's cool or may outright oppose his ideas. I hope, though, that he continues to follow that instinct of seeking out the lonely instead of falling into the trap of befriending the loud, negative ones.

I have always loved how Nathanael doesn't discriminate when choosing friends. As has been exhibited this year with some of the negative influences he has happened upon, unfortunately that isn't always for the best. However, I love that he doesn't look down on others if they don't look like everyone else, don't talk like everyone else, don't think like everyone else. I believe he just doesn't even notice that. All Nathanael notices is whether or not someone is fun. Nathanael has a kind and gentle soul. He is always looking to make a friend. He plays equally well with girls as boys, with children his own age or several years older or younger, with all skin colors and varying personalities. If someone needs a friend, Nathanael is happy to be a friend.

He has a tender heart. If he sees someone who doesn't have something that he has, he doesn't think twice before sharing. He is very generous. He has always loved making little notes or handmade trinkets for others. He recently made a little note for me, attached some of his own candy to it, and left it under my pillow. And, though the other kids had nothing to do with the idea or the action, he included Claire's and Sam's names on the note. He is fiercely loyal. Though Sam doesn't deserve his adoration, I know he longs for the friendship of his brother. And, boy, are the moments when they laugh together and genuinely enjoy each other pure gifts from Heaven! One evening, as I was reading scriptures with them at bedtime, as they laid in my bed, Nathanael reached out and touched Sam's hand, and by some sweet miracle Sam let him hold onto his hand. Those moments. Those moments feel so hopeful.

He's a funny kid. He can feel the tiniest lump in his sock and his whole body will be uncomfortable. He complains that every single pair of shoes is too tight. Every single shirt with buttons and every single pair of pants or shorts that are not made for athletics are uncomfortable. Lately, finding it difficult to employ an effective punishment method on him, I have resorted to taking away all "comfortable" clothes from his closet and leaving only polo shirts and shorts with buttons. When his attitude adjusts, he gets to wear comfortable clothes again. He BEGS for the return of his clothing.
This boy loves bacon and sausage, eats fruit by the gallon, sneaks candy when no one is watching, and still refuses to eat at the table with the rest of the family because he can't stand the sound of Sam chewing. He whines from sun up until sun down, cries at the drop of the hat, makes the most random and annoying noises to fill all moments of silence, and convinces his baby sister to accompany him upstairs (or downstairs) when no one else is there because he's too scared to go alone.
He is wild. He is crazy. He is loud. He is, lately, rebellious. He is thoughtful. He is caring. He is sensitive. He is a worrier. He loves to be busy. He is a lover of nature and animals. He is 7 years old. He is ours. And we love him more than words can say.